Five Silent Nights
by yesliterally
Summary: Follow four couples over the course of five Christmas Eves. FINAL CHAPTER UP!
1. Chapter 1

**FIVE SILENT NIGHTS**

Follow four couples over the journey of five Christmas Eves. Experience their joy, their saddness, and their fears. Couples will remain nameless until the very end of this story. There are five chapters, one for each year. Please read and review.

* * *

**Chapter 1**

A smile plays at the corner of her lips as she places the final piece of tape on the seam of the perfectly wrapped package. The silver foil paper was a perfect match to the silver/white/ice blue theme she had dressed the entire house in during her typical holiday decorating rampage. But this one didn't belong under the tree. No, she'll give this one to him first thing in the morning, before the trip to the huge house on the hill over looking Seattle.

The long, slender, now-shiny box could have be a watch or a nice ink pen, but no, he'll have to find another way to tell time or write on charts. This is so much bigger than those things.

She clears the scraps of paper and tape off the floor of the guest bathroom, the only place where she knew he wouldn't interrupt her. She turns off the light and moves toward the master bedroom where he lays, snoring softly into his pillow, exausted after a fourteen-hour shift at the hosptial. She places the box on her nightstand and crawls into bed, his body instantly and unconsiously closing in around her.

* * *

Sneaking downstairs, she giggles as he freezes when a step squeaks. He turns to look at her with his index finger up to his lips. He knows there is really no need to be quiet. Their son is only ten months old and not yet walking. But this is his first Christmas, and it needed to be special.

As they hit the ground floor, she immediately moves to grab the small boxes unecessarily hidden in the coat closet near the front door. He grabs a tool set from the utility room and sits on the floor, intent on finishing the playhouse in record time. It couldn't be too difficult. He was a surgeon after all.

After placing the hidden toys, she takes a seat on the comfy chair nearest him, munching on the cookies he had insisted on leaving for "Santa" after the child had sucessfully pronounced the word "Cookie" earlier in the week.'

He suddenly looks mystified at the peice of paper in his hands. She leans over to get a good look at the instructions, hand clasping over her mouth to keep from laughing, as she tries to remember any of the Chinese she learned in that one semester in college.

* * *

Her hands move skillfully as she repairs the valve in the heart of a 56-year-old MI victim. He had come into the ER in mid-heart attack, causing the doctors to jump to his aid. She knew it was horrible to think, but the hospital had been too quiet and she was grateful for the surgery. The man would pull through, a Christmas miracle for his family who took up the entire waiting room.

She looks over at the man across the table. His mouth is hidden, but she knows he is smiling. His blue eyes shone with pride as she began to stitch the patient up. Glancing up once more, she returns the smile and thanks him through her own, much darker eyes. Thanking him for paging her about the heart patient; thanking him for being in that quiet OR with her; thanking him for letting her be who she is.

* * *

He watches her breathing slow and he knows that she has drifted off into a dream world, undoubtedly filled with gingerbread houses and candy canes and snow-covered streets. That's just who she is, he thinks to himself. She unashamedly looks for the good things in life. Sure, he teases her about her rose-colored glasses often, but he knows he wouldn't change one thing about the young woman in his arms.

Peaceful. It wasn't just the way he described her sleeping pattern. But for the first time in his life, he could describe himself that way. For the first time in his life, he wasn't celebrating the holiday season hiding or running or wallowing. He was at peace, and in love. He wanted every Christmas to be like this.

And he would tell her ... tomorrow.


	2. Chapter 2

**FIVE SILENT NIGHTS**

Follow four couples over the journey of five Christmas Eves. Experience their joy, their saddness, and their fears. Couples will remain nameless until the very end of this story. There are five chapters, one for each year. Please read and review.

* * *

Chapter 2

(One Year Later)

The silence in the house taunted him. He thought he had past the point where it would bother him, but tonight of all nights, the quiet was deafening. Looking across the gap formed on the king size bed, he knew that she had cried herself to sleep ... again. She didn't curl up in his embrace anymore, instead prefering to lay dangerously near the edge opposite him.

His mind wandered back to the year before, when she had roused him from his sleep with a passionate kiss. She had set a foil wrapped box on his chest and, giggling, told him to open it. The peice of plastic, made ever-important by the bright pink plus sign, had brought him more happiness than he had ever expected out of life.

But it wasn't to be. Delivering at 27 weeks, they spent nine days staring at their son's frail form laying in an incubator, struggling for the next breath. When the child succumbed to his underdevelopment, he took a part of them each with him. That little boy took the glue that held them together.

This year, there would be no Christmas morning with friends, no big celebrations. A Christmas Eve wedding couldn't even lift her spirits.

Lying in bed, listening, he wondered if they would ever recover.

* * *

She had fallen asleep as soon as her head had hit the pillow. She was exhausted from not just the day, but the months of planning. He picked up the velvet dress she had worn that afternoon and hung it up in the closet. Kissing her on the cheek he exited the room.

Down the hall he paused in the doorway of his son's room. In the corner sat the playhouse that had caused him so many problems a year before. He moved into the room and placed another blanket over the sleeping child, undoubtedly dreaming of a jolly old man with reindeer and toys.

He moved to the bedroom closest to theirs, and peered over the crib containing the newborn little girl. Only three weeks old, she wouldn't understand Christmas morning, but he couldn't help but be excited about her first holiday with them. She began to stir and he lifted her to his chest before she could wake her mother. Sitting down in the rocker, he calmed her with low whispers and gentle kisses.

* * *

His heavy boots left imprints in the sand as he walked from the mess tent to his officer's quarters. The night sky was lit up by the perfect unobstructed full moon and twinkling stars. But his mind wasn't in the middle of the warm desert. It was on the other side of the planet, in a much colder, snowier climate.

His hands shook slightly as he pulled the letter from its envelope one more time. Her messy handwriting such a contrast to her precision in an OR. He knew that writing the letter had been difficult for her, as she had been so adamately opposed to him returning to the battlefield. She would never understand. She refused to understand. That was her way.

He read the letter for the thousandth time, still smiling as she complained about being forced to attend a wedding on Christmas Eve, instead of spending the day in the OR. She liked to think that the fact that she didn't celebrate the holiday like the others gave her an advantage with the surgeries that would undoubtedly come in.

Replacing the letter into its envelope, he put it under his pillow and crawled under his blankets of his cot, praying that the gunfire be held off for another day.

* * *

She felt his hand sqeezing hers as he snores lightly, his head resting against her thousand feet above the earth, she smiled at him. At her husband.

The wedding had been a simple Christmas Eve affair, surrounded by family and friends, her bridesmaids dressed in wine-colored velvet, carrying white roses. Her father had walked her down the aisle, and at the end of it ... he was there.

She'd never seen him look happier than when he got his first glimpse of her at the opposite end of the white carpet. His smile, gentle, not cocky for once, stretched from ear to ear and matched hers.

Before the proposal, just a day short of a year ago, she could never have imagined her life or his turning out like this. And yet it was. She chuckled a bit as she brought her self back to the nearly empty plane headed towards the Caribbean. She pressed a soft kiss to his forehead and allows herself to drift off into sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**FIVE SILENT NIGHTS**

Follow four couples over the journey of five Christmas Eves. Experience their joy, their saddness, and their fears. Couples will remain nameless until the very end of this story. There are five chapters, one for each year. Please read and review.

* * *

**Chapter 3**

(another year later)  
She had decided that it would be best to work Christmas night. To not think back. It hurt too much to think back. So instead she chose to lose herself in an emergency splenectomy. Trying not to think about him.

Signing the divorce papers had been simple. It was going home alone to the house they had shared for so long that was painful. The memories they had made seemed to project off of the walls she was surrounded by on four sides. The nursery they had started to paint, the bed where they made love so many nights.

So opting to work on a night when one shouldn't be alone was the best choice. She wouldn't be alone in the hospital. There were plenty of people who needed her help. Best of all, she wouldn't run into him. He hadn't darkened the doors of this hospital since the split was finalized. She dreaded the day she would run into him, for fear that her true feelings, the fact that she missed him and still loved him, would come flooding out of her. She couldn't do that. She couldn't go back.

So she focused on her work.

* * *

It wasn't the part of the hospital she was used to being in. In physical distance, the oncology floor was about as far from the surgical ward as you could get. It was unnerving to her to be in this unknown space in a place where she had spent a majority of her life. The eerie quiet that was a constant here was a far cry from the general buzz that surrounded the OR.

Standing in the doorway, holding the hand of her son, she looked into the room that had become a second home to them as of late. Her husband was in the room's only chair, their daughter sleeping quietly in the hospital bed. He rubbed her arm gently, careful to avoid the wires and IV's that were delivering the medicines that they hoped would save her life.

On the table in the corner sat a tiny tree with tiny ornaments. Mother and son walked in, and without a word, began to unload the presents that they would open in the morning.

* * *

Opening the door to the apartment they shared, she was surprised to see a light shining in the den. she moved to investigate, thinking to herself that he should be asleep. As she stood in the doorway, she watched as he struggled with the snowflake patterened paper and a bright yellow box of art supplies. A gift to take to their best friends' daughter. She had intended for him to use a gift bag, but he was stubborn in his opinion that gifts were more fun to unwrap than when pulled from a bag.

Using the nub where his left elbow used to be, he held the paper in place. He moved to rip the tape from the dispenser with his good hand, but he clumsily failed, and the paper flapped back to the floor. He sighed, and she saw the pain in his eyes. He was a surgeon who had one hand. There would be no more surgeries, as even menial tasks like wrapping a present were proving essentially impossible.

He wouldn't want help. But she didn't care. She quietly moved to his side, and pulled the paper over the box, and held it as he put the tape in place. After the box was adequately wrapped, she lay her head on his shoulder, reassuring him that she was there, and she wasn't going anywhere.

* * *

He couldn't help but stare at her as she nursed their three-month-old daughter. With eyes so much like his and a nose so much like her mother's, she was beautiful. He had never seen anything so perfect.

Feeling a tiny hand against his chest he looked down and smiled at his son, who was patiently waiting his turn to be fed. Concieved only days into their marriage, the twins had been a surprise. But one that he welcomed. He had wanted to turn over a new leaf, but what he got was a new life. One that he loved, and one that gave him purpose.

All the other women he'd had in his life, they paled in comparison to this moment. He had his family, his new life, and he never wanted it to end.


	4. Chapter 4

**FIVE SILENT NIGHTS**

Follow four couples over the journey of five Christmas Eves. Experience their joy, their saddness, and their fears. Couples will remain nameless until the very end of this story. There are five chapters, one for each year. Please read and review.

* * *

_Chapter 4 (another year later)_

He shouldn't have accepted the invitation. He knew that it would be strange, awkward being there again. He was right, and he knew it immediately. He was about to turn and retreat out the door he had just entered when a group of toddlers ran toward him. Taking on that Uncle role once again, he knelt down to their level, instantly being smothered with hugs and kisses. He handed each of them a small package which they greedily accepted.

The oldest boy grabbed his hand and pulled him to the living room, filled with the other adults. The extrordinarily decorated home was filled with the friends who had stayed loyal to them both, his former co-workers, and bosses. They were all well dressed and chattering happily with one another. But the other faces were a blur. He only saw her.

Standing there in a dark green satin dress, hair shorter and sleeker, she turned and met his gaze. Looking past her beautiful body and into her soul, he saw it. He knew. Despite the pain of their past, she still loved him, maybe as much as he still loved her.

* * *

The house was filled to the brim with guests and Christmas cheer, children running all around. Mantles were adorned with bows and candles, and there were several tall trees, impeccably decorated throughout the first floor. Eggnog, pastries and candy added to the spirit of the celebration.

He stood pretending to monitor the festivities from the archway between the living room and the kitchen. But he really wasn't paying any attention to the others. He stood there staring at her as she greeted guests, made sure food was in good supply, and kept the children under control.

It was only the moment that their daughter, their beautiful and healthy little girl, ran over to him that he looked away. She stared up at him with aquamarine eyes, so much like the woman he had spent all night staring at, until he leaned down and picked her up. Holding on like he'd never let go.

* * *

They stood on the porch for what felt like hours. From the sound of things, the party was on full swing inside. But here, cold air penetrating their coats, it was quiet. Yet he knew what she was thinking.

It had been a full eight months since they had stood on that porch and said good bye to their friends. Their new life in the nation's capital was better than they could have dreamed, but being here, back in the place where people had begged her not to leave, made her uncomfortable. She hadn't left on the best of terms with all of her former collegues, and he could feel her tension.

He turned an stared into her eyes, and gave her a little nod. It was all she needed. She pressed the doorbell to her past.

* * *

Their two excited toddlers finally gave into the exaustion brought about by the festivites of the night. She pressed a kiss to each of their foreheads and retreated back to the room they shared. When she entered the master suit, she looked around in awe of the sight in front of her.

Candles lit up the room, and he sat on their bed waiting patiently. Her lips turned upward into a smile as his hand reached out for hers. Without a word, he slipped an arm around her waist, dancing her around the room to the music they heard only when they were together alone.

When they finally reached their destination, she kissed him soundly, hoping, praying that tonight would be the night. That nine months from then, there would be another little one to tuck into bed.


	5. Chapter 5

**FIVE SILENT NIGHTS**

_Here it is ... the final Christmas where all the couples will be revealed. I really love how this story came out, and I didn't necessarily want everything to be tied up in a nice neat little bow, because all of the couples will have Christmases beyond this, I just won't be writing them. :(_

* * *

**5 (the last year)**

She nuzzled her cheek against his chest, resting comfortably in his arms. She felt safe from, but not unaware of, the painful realities of life. She had almost let her inablilty to cope with tragedy ruin her life. She had wasted nearly two years. They both had.

They knew the time was gone and they couldn't get it back, they couldn't get the child they had lost back. But they realized that they could repair the shards of their broken hearts and they did.

She enjoyed the silence this year. No hiding at the hospital, no forcing herself to stay busy so she wouldn't feel lonely. They'd spent hours trimming the tree, drinking hot cocoa, listening to Bing Crosby. While sleep had come to him quickly, the thoughts of the past five years overcame her. But in the midst of her reflction on the past came a voice of the future.

The silence was broken by a small cry from a little girl only two days old. Alex and Izzie's little Christmas miracle.

* * *

She looked around at the dark office, wondering if coming here had been a mistake. One brought about by the thought of being alone on Christmas Eve due to his promotion to Chief. Her two children had long since fallen asleep on one end of the overstuffed sofa, while she sat there silently occupying the other end. She had intended this visit to be a surprise, but the emergency surgery he was in had taken much longer than anyone had thought.

The door finally creaked open, and she quickly held her finger up to her mouth to make sure that he didn't wake the sleeping boy and girl. The joy on his face that they were even there was apparent, but he kept quiet.

They were surgeons, and spending Christmas Eve in the hospital wasn't the worst thing that could ever happen to them. Derek sat down next to Meredith and wrapped her in his arms, counting their blessing in their minds.

* * *

There would be no trip to Seattle this year, she had known that for a while. They had visited for Thanksgiving and knew a second trip was out of the question. She had wanted to work, to get her hands dirty in the OR on Christmas Eve, but he had insisted that the day be about them. And she had agreed.

She wondered to herself as they lay in bed together if she had lost her edge, and if he had done that to her. No, it wasn't his fault. She knew he would never push her into something she wasn't ready for.

But was she really ready for this? And could she do it without her person there to help her through it. He seemed to be reading her mind even though she thought he was asleep. He leaned over, kissed her on the cheek, and placed his hand on her softly swollen belly, seeming to say with out words that she was Cristina and he was Owen and they could do this whole parenting thing. And they would kick ass at it, just like they did in every part of their lives.

* * *

Christmas Eve was different. Their usual anniversary celebration and Christmas party at her sister's house weren't in the cards. Instead, they had spent the day in a cold, snowy cemetery in New York. Holding an infant in her arms, she looked over at him as he held the hands of their two older children.

He wasn't sure why he was really here. He hadn't really been close to his father, but he it still broke his heart that the man was gone. Now that he was a father himself, he wished he had taken more time to learn from the man whose blood ran through his veins. He wished he could back track in time, but he knew that life didn't work that way.

He took one last look at the coffin and then turned back to her, tears falling from her face for a man she had never met. Her compassion was one of the things that had drawn them together so long ago, and he was grateful for it at that moment. Time stood still for a while, and they stared into each others eyes, and at that moment, Mark knew that he would survive this, and Lexie would make sure of it.


End file.
